I’m normally very protective of my poetry, but I’m posting this one as text and protecting it with a Creative Commons License* in hopes you will share this with your communities so it can reach someone who needs to read it.
*You may copy and distribute it any way you like as long as you attribute it to me and don’t alter it.
Serefina reads over my shoulder
Virtual Tumor
My cat has a tumor under her eye.
It looks just like a ripe cranberry.
She’s seventeen years old,
eighty-five in human years.
Given her age,
even a biopsy would be risky.
So there’s not much to do but watch it grow.
My brother had Kaposi’s sarcomas
all over his face.
We went to the pizza parlor and the deli once.
He was totally unself-conscious
as were the food workers who
greeted him like an old friend.
My wife has a lump in her breast.
You can’t see it.
You can’t even feel it.
You wouldn’t know she had cancer to look at her.
She embraces it
as a source of blessings,
and it has been already,
only just embarking on her
twenty weeks of chemo.
She’ll be just fine,
but even so, she teaches me
how to embrace life.
My tumor is even less visible.
It’s a virtual tumor,
hidden in code amid ganglions of nerves.
It’s the voice in my head that
urges me to destroy myself,
the voice that says things like
What’s the use?
I can’t take one more day.
I need a fix.
I just want to die
or (on a good day)
I just want to sleep.
Back to my kitty:
she seems to be comfortable enough.
She still purrs
and eats
but she seems to sense her days are numbered,
and she responds by coming to me for love
and petting and skritching
every chance she gets,
like she wants to get the most out of life
while she can.
I used to let my daughters give her the attention.
Now my girls are grown up
and kitty and I are close as father and daughter.
We are treasuring each day we have left together.
I didn’t get enough time with Bob, but
unless something goes terribly wrong,
Carol and I will have another twenty years,
and we will treasure every day of that, too.
Because when it comes right down to it,
life is all about the skritch.
That’s what Carol and Serefina are teaching me.
And that voice in my head that wants me to die?
I don’t hear it much these days.
© 2014 Douglas J. Westberg. Please reblog, share, copy, distribute at will with appropriate attribution, but do not alter.
Virtual Tumor by Doug Westberg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
SunWinks! 
Beautiful poem, Doug. Our nephew just started chemo yesterday, too. He has juvenile cancer. I recommend Reiki in conjunction with cancer treatment, and to help depression as well. Happy to hear your depression has lifted.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Alison!
LikeLike
That depression lifting thing has been a twenty-year process. I’m doing quite well today, one day at a time. Prayers and blessings to your nephew.
LikeLike
If this is an example of your poetry you must be an incredible poet and all of your work well worth reading. This poem is powerful. So many in my family have had tumors (my self included). Some of us have been survivors but too many have succumbed to the devastating effects by the tumors. Your poem needs to be read and reread over and over again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin…
We’re old friends! I was Sunday Editor over on Gather! and welcome to our wordpress gang! Great to see you!
Doug
LikeLike
Please forgive me for not recognizing you and your work. You truly are a talented poet. Great to see you too my friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with Kevin, Doug, you’re a very gifted poet, your poetry is beautiful and this poem is truly poignant. You do look exhausted in the photo with ” kitty and you close as father and daughter “. Wishing Carol a speedy recovery. Hugs to both of you. ❤
I'm reblogging this.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, Irina! I’ll pass your good wishes on to carol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Irina's Poetry Corner and commented:
If cancer has touched you, your loved ones, your friends or your pets, read this beautiful poem by Doug Westberg.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you,Irina!!
LikeLike
Beautiful and so very touching!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Ashok!
LikeLike
Will reblog now. Good work.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jan!
LikeLike
Sorry doesn’t cut it in these situations,,,,so I’ll say what is in my heart…just keep stroking your kitty since she isn’t aware of your worry, just your love…keep stroking the breast that holds a secret enemy but lies quite close to the heart that returns your love and always keep being yourself in the deep expressions you share…our families (mine included) seem inundated with similar health problems…the only grace is that through poetry like yours we realize we REALLY are not alone….prayers for your comfort and peace! and much love!
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG Barbara what an eloquent and beautiful tribute! Carol would say this is why cancer is such a blessing. Can you believe that woman? I will pass this along to her. Thank you.
LikeLike
Thank you, My Darling. Thank you all, too. I am so blessed, in so many ways, not least because I am married to this talented, loving and brilliant man! And not least that he has brought so many of you into my life. I am touched and humbled by your thoughts, words, and prayer.
Carol
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have been uncoupled by (Death Do Us Part) twice, and so I am very appreciative of the vision of the love and compassion expressed in your relationship. True love IS at its best when faced with (for better OR for worse!) The commitment is the strength that sustains the aching but in love heart! All the color of beauty!
LikeLike